English food is not the best in the world. The English eat too much fried food which sits heavily in the stomach and leaves arteries full of cholesterol. They boil vegetables till the flavour has gone, and often the colour as well.
Visitors to England often complain about the food, and in particular the food in restaurants. There are good reasons for these complaints: the food in restaurants is not only expensive, but also often very bad. Foreigners wonder in disbelief why the English put up with such terrible food. The answer is simple: after years of school food we will eat anything. Japanese schools teach their students how to endure a life of hard work. British schools teach their students how to endure a life of greasy food.
At the boarding school I went to, the school canteen was called Merry House. Whoever gave it that name obviously had a strange sense of humour; it was not merry at all for the people who had to eat there every day. For breakfast we got fried bread, fried eggs, fried bacon, fried sausage, and, if we were lucky, fried tomatoes too.
For lunch we got pieces of pork or lamb called chops. The only day we didn't get meat was Friday. On Fridays we always got fish, and the fish was always fried. We had a choice of vegetables: chips or no chips. Chips are long thin pieces of potato fried in oil.
The highlight of every school meal was dessert. After the chops and chips came the sponge and custard. Each day the sponge was a different colour: on Mondays we had spotted dick, a plain sponge with currants in it. On Tuesdays we had lemon sponge. Wednesdays was chocolate sponge, which we all liked. Instead of the usual boring yellow custard, it came with a brown sauce that reminded you of chocolate. On Thursdays and Fridays we ate the sponge that was left over from earlier in the week. That is what it tasted like, anyway.
The next time you go to England and eat out in a restaurant, please remember: this is the kind of food most English people have been eating all their lives. It may look horrible and taste even worse, but it is what we are used to.