Barthes Simpson is the umpire of the signs

Alcohol free zone. It is an offence to drink alcohol in this area. Penalty 500 pounds. (and in the background all of 3 metres away, we see Ye Olde Red Horse pub . . .)


There will be no food served until further notice. Sorry for any disappointment. (In red) During the closure of our kitchen, please feel free to bring in your own food


All is not well in the Pasty Shop in Dartmouth. One notice says, 'We're unable to reheat the pasties due to an oven breakdown.' And the one on the left says, 'Due to a technical fault we cannot accept credit/debit cards today.' Apart from that, it's all tickety-boo


Spring opening hours: Closed from Sunday to Tuesday - open from 10 to 4 ish from Wednesday to Saturday. (There are two more stickers in the window to let us know just what kind of customer need not sully this threshold: one says 'No Dogs' and the other 'Smoke-free'. So, just to recap, this cake-shop is looking for customers who are only hungry four days out of seven, who don't want tea at teatime, who live in the countryside but don't own a dog, and who don't smoke.)